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Title: Milk and Cookies
Author: Lily Elena
Pairing: Billy Boyd/Dominic Monaghan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Never, ever happened.
Notes: Slasherized version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, by Laura Joffe Numeroff. Absolute and total fluff.


If you give Billy a cookie, he's going to want some milk.

So you'll get him a glass, of course, because you can't resist that grin. Or that accent.

Not that you'll be thinking about that, of course. You just won't want him to be thirsty.

And when he's finished with the milk, he'll have a milk mustache.

You'll wait for him to ask for a napkin, but he won't. He'll just look at you with a sparkle in those pretty green eyes of his until you ask him if he wants one.

He'll shake his head no, and then, letting his pink tongue dart out of his mouth, he'll lick it off his upper lip himself.

You'll back against the counter, clutching the edge to steady yourself, but you'll tell yourself it's just because it's warm in the room.

Not because of Billy's tongue. Of course not.

***

The next time you give Billy a cookie, he'll laugh and say you're trying to seduce him with sweets. He'll say that everyone knows the way into a man's heart is through his stomach.

You'll laugh too, but something in your mind will nag at you and tell you that he's right.

You'll have heard this voice before, and every time you have you'll have found it more and more difficult to push away.

When Billy's finished with the cookie, he'll want some milk.

So you'll get it, licking your own lips in anticipation.

Sure enough, Billy will have a mustache again. You'll think that he's very much like a five-year-old sometimes, but then you'll push that thought out of your mind because it's a nasty business, lusting over five-year-olds.

You'll prefer to think of Billy as a man, thank you. But not because you're lusting over him. No sir.

Before Billy will be able to lick off the milk from the space between his nose and his upper lip, you'll brush it off with your thumb.

Just being a good friend, of course.

Later on, you'll ask Elijah what the space between one's nose and upper lip is called, and he'll tell you it's the filtrum.

You'll commit that word to memory. Not because you want to kiss it. Just...for reference.

***

The third time you give Billy a cookie, he won't accept it. He'll just ask for a glass of milk straight-off.

When he's finished, he'll have milk collected tantalizingly on his upper lip and above it, and you'll concede that the voice in your head is very, very right.

You'll push him against the counter and tilt your head down, running your tongue over his lips and into the tiny dip above his mouth - filtrum, you'll remember belatedly, and you'll decide it's one of your favorite things about Billy - and lapping up the drops of milk that are there. When you've finished, you'll press your lips to his, delighting in the fact that they open to accomodate your tongue.

You'll kiss for several minutes, experimenting with different angles and intensities, and you'll wonder to yourself why you haven't ever done this before.

When you break apart, Billy will grin at you and say he wondered how many of your shitty cookies he'd have to eat before you'd get the point.

You'll look at him quizzically and he'll tell you to get him another glass of milk.

You will, and he'll drink it slowly, and when he's finished, you'll notice that there's no mustache.

Then you'll remember that Billy is usually very, very neat when he drinks.

You'll grin back at him and capture his lips in another kiss, thanking the fact that you decided to make cookies and that the voice in your head is more perceptive than you are.

Later, you'll hit him for saying they're shitty.

He'll laugh and say that's really not the point.

You'll agree.


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